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Emotions are the driving force of all human behaviour.
They affect our decision-making, relationships, daily interactions and self-care. However, as a Man we have always been taught to supress or deny our emotions, leading to an unhealthy relationship with them, cascading into personal and interpersonal problems.
The good news is, with a little practice, anyone can take back control of their emotions.
Two studies from 2010Trusted Source suggested that having good emotional regulation skills not only links to positive well-being, but also to financial success.
In this article, we will provide some pointers to help you get started on your journey to emotional mastery.
Feeling is Healing: Understanding Human Emotions
It's essential to know that Feeling is Healing
All you can do is create more pain by resisting change.
You might get away with that for a few months, maybe even a few years, maybe even a decade or two, but the underlying, unaddressed imbalance is still at play and will dictate your life.
The truth is that emotional responses are a normal part of being human.
And us Men don't like to admit we are afraid or scared at times... But it's vital to understand that accepting the emotion is always the first step to mastery.
But know this - a fleeting emotion like feeling hangry is something you should be keeping to yourself.
But deep emotional trauma that you’re holding onto from past events is like a humungous weight dragging down your potential to live a fulfilling, joyous, incredible life.
If you are a man seeking to transform yourself into something greater.
Check out Finding Freedom: The Young Man's Guide for a complete comprehensive blueprint to identify & release deep emotions and reinvent yourself into the man capable of achieving your dreams.
10 Methods for Emotional Mastery
1. Mindfulness and self-awareness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and observing our thoughts and feelings without judgment. It can be practiced through meditation or yoga.
By expanding your Self-awareness you will begin to understand your emotions and how they influence behaviour. By becoming more self-aware, we can identify those controlling emotions that lead to unhealthy behaviours and take steps to change them.
Learn more here What Does Self Awareness Mean?
2. Daily practices for Managing Emotions
It's important to schedule time each day for self-reflection and emotional regulation techniques. Here are some examples;
Identify what you are feeling
Aim for regulation, not repression
Cold Exposure
Stretching or exercising
Healthy Diet: Eat Organic Whole food and Stay hydrated
Keep a mood journal
Take some deep breaths
Give yourself some space or alone time
Have a sing-a-long like no one's listening
3. Identifying Triggers & Negative Emotions
Triggers are events, situations or people that cause, or reveal, a strong emotional charge within. By identifying them, we begin the task of rewiring our behaviours into alignment of who we want to be.
We can prepare for them and have a plan in place to deal with them.
4. Reframing negative thoughts:
These thoughts cause negative emotions, and vice versa.
A lot of men live in this emotional loop because it is all they've ever known. They can be automatic and habitual, but by beginning to reframe them when they arise, we can rewire our thought patterns.
We have to stand guard at the door of our Mind. Identify negative thoughts, question their validity and replace them with more positive and constructive thoughts.
For example, "I'll never be able to do this," can be reframed into "I may not be able to do this right now, but I can work on it."
Or "I am a failure" can be reframed to "I may not have succeeded this time, but I can learn from my mistakes and try again."
Learn how to Deal with Negative Emotions
5. Regulating Overwhelming Emotions:
When emotions become overwhelming, it can be difficult to think clearly and make rational decisions.
Here are some effective strategies for regulating overwhelming emotions;
Deep breathing exercises
Progressive muscle relaxation
Relaxing music
Visualization.
These techniques can help to calm the body and mind in the moment, allowing you to regain control of your emotions.
Here are some effective breathing techniques
6. Building Emotional Intelligence:
The inevitable ups and downs of life will guarantee to build your emotional intelligence.
But you can make things easier by developing the skills and habits we have mentioned in this article. But let's highlight the most vital steps of emotional mastery.
Pay attention to how you behave
Question your own opinions
Communicate
Take responsibility for your feelings
Take time to celebrate the positive
But don't ignore the negative.
Don't forget to breathe.
Remember this is a lifetime process
Building emotional intelligence as a man is important and involves developing self-awareness, empathy, strong communication skills, and the ability to regulate emotions.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, which can be built by actively listening, putting yourself in others' shoes, and understanding different perspectives.
Strong communication skills can be developed by expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and practicing active listening.
Emotion regulation refers to the ability to manage and control emotions in a healthy way, which can be improved by practicing the techniques we've provided.
Emotional intelligence can be developed over time, it requires practice and patience. By building these skills, men can improve emotional intelligence, which can lead to better relationships and communication, improved decision making, overall emotional well-being and a much better life experience.
7. A Healthy Diet: Understanding the Mind-Body connection
Diet plays a crucial role in our overall physical and emotional well-being. Recent research has shown that the gut microbiome, the collection of microorganisms living in the gut, plays an important role in emotional regulation and mental health.
Studies have shown that the gut microbiome can affect the production of neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine, which are responsible for regulating mood and emotions.
An unhealthy diet that is high in processed foods and sugar can disrupt the balance of the gut microbiome, leading to inflammation and an increased risk of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Conversely, a diet rich in fruits, grass fed meat, vegetables, and fermented foods can promote a healthy gut microbiome and improve emotional regulation.
Intermittent fasting and time restricted eating is a powerful tool to give your body the time to rest and repair.
8. Setting Personal Development Goals:
Setting goals is a great way to create a sense of purpose, meaning and direction in our lives.
Having a clear idea of what we want to achieve can help to focus our energy and efforts in a positive direction. Create a compelling future for yourself.
Family Harmony
Unbreakable Mindset
Physical Vitality
Career Fulfilment and Personal Satisfaction
Develop Empathy and Gentleness. ...
Financial Abundance
Service to others
9. Seeking Professional Support:
Seeking professional support can provide the guidance and tools necessary to effectively manage and regulate your emotions without any guess work.
An experienced therapist or counsellor can work with you to identify patterns and triggers that lead to negative emotions, and develop effective strategies to deal with them that are specific to you.
Additionally, it can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for men to express their emotions and work through any unresolved issues. This can be especially important for men who have never been taught to deal with their emotions.
Here are some websites to find professional help;
10. Enjoy the Ride
Now knowing the power of your thoughts, remember to take a deep breath, and realise we're all riding this wave of life trying our best.
When we take life too seriously, we tend to focus on the negative aspects of our experiences and become overwhelmed by the pressure to achieve certain goals and meet certain expectations. Life's trials and tribulations is hard enough without all of the unnecessary stress, anxiety, and self imposed expectations.
Easier said than done, but try taking a more relaxed and light-hearted approach to life. Sometimes it's best to slow down and remind yourself of the bigger picture.
When we are too focused on achieving our goals and meeting expectations, we can become more self-absorbed and less attuned to the needs of others. By taking a more relaxed and light-hearted approach to life, we can become more open and empathetic, which can snowball into deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Go with the flow!
Conclusion: The Importance of Emotional Control for Men
Emotional control is an essential aspect of men's overall well-being. Being able to understand and manage emotions can improve relationships, achieve personal goals, and lead to a much more fulfilling life experience.
There are many strategies that can be used to improve emotional control, such as mindfulness and self-awareness, changing your perspective, seeking clinical support, setting personal development goals, breathwork, exercise, diet and conscious lifestyle choices.
With practice, patience, and the right tools, men can become masters of their emotions.
You got this.
FAQs
Q. Should men control their emotions?
Men who express their emotions are often seen as weak. Because of that, many men neglect to show their emotions because they're afraid of the repercussions. However, suppressing emotions and feelings can be incredibly detrimental to a man's mental health.
Q. What is an example of emotional control?
An example is, pausing to collect your thoughts before you respond, rather than reacting.
It can also mean waiting until you're in a supportive space to process deeper emotional feelings.
Q. What are the best sleep books?
'It All Starts With Sleep' by E. S. Longevity
"Sleep" by Nick Littlehales
"Why we sleep" by Matthew Walker
'How To Sleep Well' by Neil Stanley
Q. Why do men shut down their emotions?
Men often feel obligated to be self-reliant and provide for their loved ones, so shutting down and repressing their emotional responses feels like a natural thing to do, even though it is very damaging.
There are societal expectations and stereotypes that men should be tough, strong and unemotional. Men may have learned from a young age that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness and vulnerability, so they may shut down their emotions to avoid appearing weak or vulnerable.
There is certainly a shift happening in modern day mental health, but a lot of men still struggle with emotional overwhelm, regulation and repression.
Q. What is the most powerful emotion for a man?
Many say fear is our biggest driving force. But these days, Psychologists, scientists and spiritual teachers all agree that love is the strongest emotion. Humans experience a range of emotions from joy, fear, envy, happiness and anger, all with their strong dopamine responses, but love is the unifying force that connects us all.
Q. What is the hardest emotion to control?
Many people say that one of the most difficult emotions to handle is anger. Anger can weaken your ability to solve problems effectively, make good decisions, handle changes, and get along with others. Concerns about anger control are very common.
Q: What are some strategies for improving emotional control?
Some strategies for improving emotional control include mindfulness and self-awareness, reframing negative thoughts, seeking professional help, setting personal development goals, maintaining a healthy diet, and taking life less seriously.
Q. What are the 5 types of personal development?
Physical
Mental
Social
Emotional
Spiritual
Q. What are signs of personal growth?
You don't resist the natural flow of life. We learn to let go of control because we learn this truth: we do not control other people, only ourselves.
You see visible changes in your outer world
You value peace over drama
You forgive more, yourself and others
Your happiness isn't determined by others
You become your best friend
Q: How can diet affect emotional control?
Diet plays a crucial role in our overall physical and emotional health. An unhealthy diet that is high in processed foods and sugar can disrupt the balance of the gut microbiome, leading to an imbalance in neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine (The 'Feel Good' chemicals)
Q. How can I cope with strong feelings that arise from past events?
It's important to remember that past memories can cause a strong triggering event in the present if a similar external experience brings it up.
We are all human beings with trauma from our past but mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing, journaling, speaking to friends, talking to a family member, giving yourself a quiet time, can all help you process and regulate these emotions. Additionally, seeking professional assistance can also be helpful in addressing deep emotional trauma.
Q. How do I control my emotions?
Awareness is the first step to change
Maintain healthy relationships
Stop suppressing and start feeling more
Practice mindfulness
Prevent emotional outbursts... you always feel terrible after
Q. Who are good role models for young men?
Some good role models for young men are Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Marcus Aurelius. Andrew Huberman, Bruce Lee, Martin Luther King Jr Terry Crews, Roger Federer, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, Lebron James as they all share power leader traits, unstoppable determination and choosing to be themselves.
Q. What it truly means to be a man?
It means not being afraid to show the world who you are. A real man shows his emotions and is vulnerable to ask for help when he needs it. Being a man means rejecting false ideals of what masculinity is, embracing the differences of others, and helping to create a better world around you.
Managing emotions, dealing with negative feelings such as frustration, hurt, pain, sadness and the difficult task to just feel emotions, and choosing to have the courage to improve himself despite of everything. This is the blueprint of the modern masculine man.
How to control your emotions?
To control your emotions you must start by accepting the way you truly feel. By paying attention to where you're at it helps you transform anger, pain, anxiety and other emotions into something much more constructive and positive.
Emotional expression is a beautiful thing when it is positive. But let's also honour the negative feelings as they will become a weight on your shoulders if not dealt with.
Control your emotions, control your life.
Q. How to deal with extreme feelings?
Expressing feelings that are extreme like being angry and frustrated in the wrong way could end up being a big impact to those around you. Rather than damaging a relationship with a trusted friend, learn how to release these emotions. Some helpful ways are exercising, deep breaths, weight lifting or taking the matter to a specialist.
Anger can be used as fuel!
The trick is to fully feel all of these different emotions. Feeling is healing.
Q. Where is a safe space for emotional responses?
A safe space for emotional expression could be in a group, alone or by establishing trust with another person and feeling safe enough to be open and vulnerable with them.
To put it simply, emotional safety is feeling secure enough to truly express yourself with someone and show up as your most authentic self.
Dysregulated emotions and feelings can wreck havoc on a relationship, friends and yourself. So give yourself the space and time to honour these things and regulate emotion. Feeling angry and upset at the world is not a good state to be in, you deserve better!
Q. What are some examples of negative emotions?
Emptiness.
Frustration.
Inadequacy.
Helplessness.
Fear.
Guilt.
Loneliness
Anger or Feeling Angry
Relevant sources to learn more
Original Artwork | The Mind Maestro Art Gallery | Modern Paintings
Modern Digital AI Art Prints | Free Shipping | Mind Maestro AI
ART PRINTS For Sale | Mind Maestro | Free Worldwide Shipping
THE PROJECT | Unlocking Human Potential | Self-Development E-books
The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset (mindmaestro.co.uk)
How to Control Your Emotions: 11 Strategies to Try (healthline.com)
https://mensgroup.com/jocko-willink-men-controlling-emotions/
https://sbtreatment.com/blog/men-and-emotions-the-importance-of-becoming-vulnerable/
https://www.sj-r.com/story/business/2015/03/19/48-tips-on-becoming-more/34959481007/
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